Southern California blows

If you've ever seen a Western, you've probably seen a shot of a deserted main street with heavy winds blowing past, kicking up dust and tossing three-foot tumbleweeds across the set like giant balls of cotton. Let me assure you, those scenes may be cliche, but they're 100% authentic.

For a short time every early winter, southern California gets hit by the Santa Ana winds -- warm, very brisk winds out of the high desert from the east and northeast. It's a mixed blessing. It blows all the pollution away, leaving the air as clean of smog as it ever gets around here, and it's neat to be out in that much wind. But the amount of paper, grocery bags, and other trash it stirs up is simply staggering. Find any field with chain link fencing around it, and whichever corner is most downwind will be piled with trapped litter higher than a snowbank. Blowing leaves and branches drift through your headlight beams at night like snow. And while tumbleweeds are picturesque, you don't want to hit one at eighty miles per hour. The damn things will scratch your paint down to the metal.

The winds were severe enough to shut down Ontario International Airport on Monday. The local Jiffy-Lube closed and locked all its doors because they'd blow open otherwise, as did the local mega-mall with its automatic doors. Even keeping your car in your own lane can be tricky.